"This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man."

"No mortal man, moreover is wise at all moments."

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"In comparing various authors with one another, I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works, without making acknowledgment."

"Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?"

"The only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"EPAULET, n. An ornamented badge, serving to distinguish a military officer from the enemy -- that is to say, from the officer of lower rank to whom his death would give promotion."

"Fear secretes acids; but love and trust are sweet juices."

"We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts."

"As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around."

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"