"Wit is brushwood; judgment timber; the one gives the greatest flame, and the other yields the most durable heat; and both meeting make the best fire."

"Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh."

"Gluttony is not a secret vice."

"When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

"Without the smile from partial beauty won, Oh what were man?a€”a world without a sun."

"All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year."

"The argument that making contraceptives available to young people would prevent teen pregnancies is ridiculous. That's like offering a cookbook as a cure to people who are trying to lose weight."

"With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown."

"Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music."

"Go after a man's weakness, and never, ever, threaten unless you're going to follow through, because if you don't, the next time you won't be taken seriously."