"There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."

"What's the point of worshipping a forgiving god if you're just gonna be good anyway?"

"If you know how rich you are then you are not rich. But us, we do not know the vastness of our wealth. That's how rich we are."

"Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein."

"A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it."

"Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person. And nothing pisses a person off more than being shoved into the wrong pigeonhole."

"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."

"My candle burns at both endsIt will not last the night;But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -It gives a lovely light."

"There are very few women in society whose virtue outlasts their beauty."

"I wanted to believe and I tried my damndest to believe in the rainbow that I tried to get over and couldn't. So what? Lots of people can't..."

"He helps others most, who shows them how to help themselves."

"Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood."