"If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV."

"I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn."

"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."

"I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

"...the goodness of the will depends on the intention of the end."

"When you are unhappy, is there anything more maddening than to be told that you should be contented with your lot?"

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

"That is not dead which can eternal lie And with strange aeons even death may die."

"It is in his pleasure that a man really lives; it is from his leisure that he constructs the true fabric of self."