"For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."

"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'."

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."

"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."

"Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love."

"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies."

"I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

"As I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of Genius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity. I collected some of their Proverbs."

"At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide."

"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."

"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible."

"I don't like to sit around and judge others as I don't like to be judged myself."