"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."

"Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?"

"Courage is found in unlikely places."

"If a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man."

"The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa."

"If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time."

"The world wants to be cheated. So cheat."

"Though one should be prepared to vomit rather frequently and disport with pink elephants and assorted grotesqueries while trying often unsuccessfully to make one's way to the toilet."

"WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."

"Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases."